i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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