Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
