no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
