I must be too annoying 4 u.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
