there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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