his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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