how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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