If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
