Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
