i dont even know how to be here
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
