just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
