you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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