i think i have herpe
just one?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
