I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I need to calm my uterus...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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