PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
