But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
