if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize