I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
