i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just puked most of my soul out..
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