my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
