The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
