You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
