Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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