Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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