I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
