OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
