I hope mine doesn't look like that
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
