Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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