If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
