After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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