so explain again why im purple
no
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
