I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
