I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
