Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
