the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
