No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
