Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
