dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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