I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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