Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
