You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
