I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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