You can't special order awesome
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Randomize
