But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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