so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
