i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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