um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
