Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize