We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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