One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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