This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize