I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize