You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
