I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
