Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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