i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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