I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
