I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
