I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
