I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
