The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
